Written by Rachael Pecoraro
“It still tears me up every day. I was drunk for the last 5 days. People are starting to see that I may have a slight problem. I’m not coping with this at all. I think I need help, it doesn’t go away. I know I am drinking for the wrong reasons, but I can’t seem, to stop.
I’ll get through the day and may not think about it at all but then it’ll just click and hit me again then I get back into this damn mood. I have so many mixed emotions and don’t know how to deal with them. I miss him so much but hate him to death too. I feel so guilty and the more I think about how things played out I get so angry. This was all just a game to him.
This motherfucker left me here in this state alone to deal with all of this. Im so angry and have no way to vent or retaliate or break free from it. Everyone says I have so much to live for and have gotten through so much this far. I’m tired of dealing with everything! I wish I could just run away and break free from all of this.
I am so grateful for that people that have been surrounding me. God has been trying hard to get me through this.”